To those of you who haven’t heard from me, just know that all is OK.
Someone has major complications from his second hernia mesh operation and has to have an ultrasound and CT scan. He now has a testicle the size of an ostrich egg and a very large band of rock hard colon? or tissue on running on the outside of his abdomen from his waistline to his privates. Now he has mesh just under the skin (an external repair was tried first) and now inside of him but is not eligible for the mesh lawsuits because it didn’t “let go” per se. But…
If you remember, his medical insurance was wrongfully cancelled retroactively…or really, the cancellation is invalid and I am hoping to prove it through my documentation and research.
(To read how it was cancelled, see my previous post: https://icantbreathe.blog/2019/02/04/superbowl-sunday-together-time-turns-into-nappy-time/ )
…so I am writing a thesis of sorts of 400 plus pages to get it reversed retroactively. God willing. Otherwise, we will incur another $108,000 in debt and he will have no medical insurance until July. With this hernia complication, that’s a long time to wait.
In order to do this, I had to get four doctors’ records, statements and opinions, collect a lot of previous medical information about Someone’s Lewy Body Dementia AND the hernia mesh surgeries and do a whole lot of research. It feels like a piece of your soul basically goes into something like this. I have read more about Medicare law than I ever wanted to.
If that wasn’t enough, two dogs are critical–on the edge of God calling. Charlee Barlee, is very close to being an angel we know in heaven, whose beloved white Poodle Doodle, Jed, is keeping him company and making sure that I hear his barks whenever his Charlee needs a drink or needs to get up to go potty, etc. It is amazing to watch what an animal bonded pair relationship looks like. (I have seen them before and they are very special.) They should never ever be separated (if fostering or rescuing) and already my heart is breaking for Jed.
Charlee is wanting to keep me within sight all the time. His heart is failing (Congestive Heart Failure) and his belly is swollen and big from ascites (as-site-eez) or water in the tissues that his heart isn’t clearing. Charlee and I have been having talks about what comes after life–and who will probably come to greet him (here) and how he can come visit us anytime. I also reinforce that we will see each other again and it is that hope, that helps me to smile through my tears eventually.
Pasha Dasha has a cancerous tumor the size of a swollen plum that developed almost over night. It is on a stalk or at the end of a band of tissue extending it away from her body (her rear flank). I’ve been trying to find a surgeon who can remove it without putting her under general anesthesia. She will be 15 this year and just as a quality of life issue, removing it would make her more comfortable. In the meanwhile, external cancerous tumors create a large amount of exudate (wet, grey, shedding of muck) and so she needs to be cleaned up and the tumor treated and wrapped often.
Between reading, working on the computer, no sleep and crying, my eyes are taking the worst of it. I have to take an hour “eye break” every three hours or so.
Before God called my mother, she had sent me a basket of things, recipes and notes from her (that is almost empty) I might need some day–to go into when I think of her. It is as emotional as it is sweet and the things I find are funny, useful, and thoughtful. I took out the cucumber eye pads one time and put them in the ‘frig in case I ever needed them. They are a godsend right about now. I wish she were here…She loved Someone like her own son and so I know that she is here with us “in spirit” and in love. (It brings me to my knees when one of her notes drops out, in her handwriting, and starts with, “Hi, You Two…I love you so much…”)
So, please forgive me for not responding to email or texts or mail right now. I must use every ounce of energy I can muster to get this Medicare Reinstatement Thesis in–it is taking energy from deep inside me to do this but if I start diverting my attention, I will not be able to do it. Hoping to get it out this week, and then getting our Senator involved after that, I can take a break and will be back in touch with y’all.
In the meantime, please know that I am so deeply grateful to those of you who have cared and still cared about us. This is a very lonely, scary, uncharted place to be in. I don’t know what people do if they don’t believe in God and have their faith to stand on because it seems like at least hourly, I check in with Him just to keep going right now. (If I didn’t have to do this report, I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed but it is a “must do” and there is no one else to do it.)
I love you all very, very much and open your cards slowly and thoughtfully and read them and treat them as precious gifts and hugs. I take your gift cards and put them in my wallet to use when I need a break (like now) from cooking and managing 6 different sets of eating demands (special needs/end of life dogs are very picky!) I tuck away your other gifts for emergencies or those times when there just isn’t funds to cover whatever is needed–whether you designate them for the dogs, for what is needed or for Someone.
Please say a prayer that I have the strength of spirit and soundness of mind and argument to get this reinstatement request done and heard. I will continue to say prayers of thanks for all of those helping us. Also, please keep Someone, Charlee and Pasha in your prayers. I just hope that they hold on while I get this submitted. I don’t think I would have the energy of spirit to grieve and get it done so I am pushing myself to get it out. My eyes will be so swollen from crying that typing will be out of the question so the urgency is definitely being felt so Someone can get help. Then, I will turn it over to God, knowing that I did everything I could do and it is in His hands.
Please continue to write and email and help if you can. Next week, I will catch up on all of my “thank you’s” and responses. Please except this, “THANK YOU” for now and a big hug!
Thank you for caring. Especially for caring.
PS For those of you who have been following my own stuff, the full-body PET scan was finally approved mid-Jan! I think the insurance company delayed it for three months to carry it over to a new deductible year since last year, with me having been emergency hospitalized, spent a week in the ICU, had transfusions and surgery and Someone had surgery, too, in 2018, there was no deductible left and the PET would have been free. Now, its a new year and everything reset and we would have to pay 100% of it to go towards our high deductible plan. My next project is to get the deductible waived. What happened seems kinda fishy and like some insurance law was broken or at least some moral ones were. Research, more research to do while the docs are biting at my heels to get the test done for my own sake.
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