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Four Day Dementia “Bender” Started With A Shower Head

My next story will be a RR dog story!

There are funny things that happen along the way but it seems like they are happening less and less frequently.  Like what happened to this weekend’s chicken bar-b-que pizza (aka a piece of rock-hard cardboard–see pic above or click the link at the bottom of your email post) that I decided to make instead of ordering in!

I always set the cook timer so the oven would shut off after the designated baking time because I never know what is to come but with everything going on, it took me another forty minutes to actually take the pizza out of the oven!  Dinner ruined, it’s soup and crackers–again! Oops! It was too late to call for pizza delivery.

I never thought I’d be writing about dementia–never mind living through what is simply a mind-bending experience–especially at my age (not retirement age).

I always thought that Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s and the rest were “elderly” diseases which came on gently and progressed until the afflicted passed on at a much advanced age.  I never knew that there were “early-onset” versions of these diseases which progress faster–and come on and continue fast and furious–until the afflicted person passes on at a much younger age (in their forties, fifty or sixties).

In my Someone’s situation, he was in his 50’s when it hit. It didn’t help that I had never heard of something called Lewy Body Dementia which is a combination of the symptoms of about seven of these illnesses combined–not for the faint of heart or mind to deal with.  (It took nearly ten months and almost fifteen doctors and five different brain scans to get a diagnosis.) I am really strong but this is testing even my resolve.

I woke up this Friday morning–after about an hour and a half nap–to find a shiny metal shower head on the bed–it looked just like the one on the shower I use! My first thoughts were was the house being flooded and where was the water shut-off valve to the house!  I sprang into action.  (There is just never rest for the weary in these situations–every time I fall asleep, I wake up gasping, with my heart racing, wondering what I am going to find next–even if nothing is going on.)

Turned out that overnight Someone had “flipped” into what would become a four day active dementia “bender.”  (He doesn’t drink alcohol but I am at a loss for what to call these episodes. I need to ask his LBD specialist.)

He remembered that I had mentioned that I was having trouble with the water pressure in the shower and decided that he was going to surprise me and fix it–or at least investigate it’s cause. Thankfully, he fell asleep before he took out the main water valve in the shower thus avoiding the water catastrophe that I immediately jumped to in my mind when I saw the shower head on the bed.

For four days, I’ve had to be an almost 24/7 safety monitor, nanny, diplomat and stern mother to a very much grown-up man.  Thankfully as I write, he has snapped out of it and is now “himself” again which I pray will last for a few days–at least long enough for me to recover and regroup.  During those active dementia days, I can do nothing more than focus on what is before me second by second.  It feels like a million issues coming at you in fast motion that you have to evaluate, respond, prevent, intercede in and even deal with consequences or “oops-es.”

When in active dementia, which is particularly unpleasant in Lewy Body, everything has to be said over and over again–rarely are particular directives heard or understood until the intensity and volume increases as does the emphasis.  (In other words, talking softly, which is my nature, and calmly explaining things doesn’t work–between their brains not processing words/sounds and they are not wanting to be told “No.” You just have to “insist” sometimes!)  You have to take things away like from you would from a toddler who doesn’t know better, you have to prevent things from happening–always trying to anticipate one step ahead but sometimes never being able to do so.

Yes, there are institutions for people with this illness. Unfortunately, insurance nor Medicare covers them.  They are all private pay–at $8-12,000 per month depending on geography–the little bit of equity we still have in our house won’t go very far at all. A diagnosis of LBD means being held in a locked memory care facility (the most expensive level of care not by choice)–one that requires leg bands that track the patients like prisoners and prevents them from wandering away plus it requires a high staff to patient ratio.  Most people in these units however are of advanced age. The early-onset LBD people are few and far between.  The activities in these locked units involve looking out of the window, playing checkers and wheelchair gymnastics. My Someone is still able to walk and function when he has continued periods of sustained consciousness so it would be absolutely devastating to “snap to” and find out that your day consisted of bird watching–with a group of 80-90 year olds (no offense meant)–some in a continued state of “awake unconsciousness.”

Some caregivers and doctors have said that I could just “quit”–just leave Someone at his doctor’s office and say that he no longer has home care or just “resign.”  (How do you “resign” from caring from someone you love?) He would then become a ward of the state which would be worse than the private pay institutions.  I have been inside a state-run facility, many years ago as a volunteer Christmas caroler, and quite frankly, it was horrifying.  Everyone was naked, they had no blankets or anything that they could hurt themselves with in any way, the unit was locked down with heavy doors and gates and people were heavily sedated to keep the staff-to-patient ratio low. Even to my own detriment, I will not allow this to happen to Someone.  There has to be another solution.

Since I had to be awake most of the past four days–with an occassional nap–I needed to stay busy so I decided to clean out the refrigerator and Someone’s snack corner in the kitchen. (Someone’s snacks were overtaking the majority of kitchen so I had to designate an area with a confined bin and space which translates to limited snacks. He’s always loved to try different things–in sequence–but now, he wants to try them all at once!)

Dementia affects each person differently so I can only speak to Someone’s dementia-based quirks, one of which is saving one bite of anything “for another time.”  That means when I took apart the kitchen’s snack corner and bin and the refrigerator, there was zip-lock bag after zip-lock bag, stuffed in the back of the ‘frig and in Someone’s snack area, full of quart and gallon bags–each with just one single bite of everything he liked but had almost finished.  (I keep up with this task regularly so this wasn’t a surprise. It is just getting worse.)

Normally, I would have just thrown these bags out but with this stage of LBD, Someone can’t lose control over his “things” suddenly lest it trigger a tantrum.  Not wanting to deal with that at all, I had to ditch most of them quietly (Someone has no conception or memory of the inventory of what was there just that there were “bags of bites” there) so I left those that were recent/edible and then gave Someone a twenty four hour time limit to finish them. Without setting boundaries, no matter what they are or how arbitrary they are to me, Someone would just be lost. Setting and maintaining boundaries is no easy feat–they can be modified, and most times are many times over, but they have to exist.

I am extremely grateful to have Someone in my life still, in spite of this beast called Lewy Body Dementia.  I am having a difficult time imagining life otherwise.  I think the knowledge that this is not an illness that will get better but in fact, one that will end in ‘The End,’ is more than a little bit terrifying.  Those days that we can go for a ride in the car and enjoy the sun and the wind–and stop at Dairy Queen and hold hands and enjoy an ice cream–or sit and watch a movie together and have dip and chips or a pizza–or popcorn if we are lucky enough to actually be on time for a movie after four, five or even seven tries–are precious.  I used to take them for granted–like they just always would ‘be.’ Now, I know that they are going to be memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

My intention is not to depress or sadden you by writing about Someone’s illness and the situation around it.  I want you to just appreciate your life and your blessings and to encourage you to live in the present moment.  It is too easy to push through everything just to get through the day but the littlest, sweetest moments get lost.

For instance, I know that when Someone walks by me and tugs lightly on my big toe (if I am laying down resting, always with two ears “open”), that means that he loves me.  He doesn’t let a day go by that I don’t find my big toe being lightly tugged at least once.  While it may wake me up from a much needed nap, I have to appreciate the significance of what is happening.  Those tiny little moments get lost if you don’t slow down to notice them–and stop and thank God for them, too.  (Even a little dog’s lick of my finger after holding her water bowl up to her mouth is the same thing–it is a “thank you” or an “I love you” for taking special care of her.  Slow down, notice them and tuck those things away in your heart.)

Promise my next story will be a dog story–after all, my life is dogs–and dogs are my life!

Thank you for caring.  Especially for caring.

Jane

 

Want to Help?

If you would like to help with the many special needs dogs that I care for, please send a credit for amazon to: a.rescue.volunteer@gmail.com

OR

If you would prefer to mail a card to Someone or something like a gift card (generic Visa to your favorite fast food restaurant or grocery store–all and any will be appreciated) to help the Rescue Ranch dogs, please mail to:

Rescue Ranch

4057 Riley Fuzzel Road

Ste. 500-130

Spring, TX  77386

 

Grateful. Always. Grateful.

 

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Archives: Girl, the Texas Pearl, and Brave Ada–both now our precious angels–enjoy the Sol Light (a light-therapy light) that was sent to the RR to try.  Little Bitty Bits is the one who adopted it as his own–and everyone else had to share!

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Bitty Bits LOVES the Sol Box by Pawsitive Lighting.  I think light therapy is good for people and pets–especially if you or your animals don’t get much time outside for your bodies to make Vitamin D (D3 especially!)-which is critical for all of our immune systems.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Uncategorized

The World Turned Upside Down: Life with Dementia

I was trying to dig out cold butter from the tub with my white plastic spoon today.  I was just trying to put some on spaghetti–I can finally start eating soft foods after almost a year and a half after a dudodenal ulcer blew open.  The situation was just so silly that I thought that maybe I should share a little snippet of what life is really like these days–living and caring with Someone with Lewy Body Dementia. Unless you have lived through it, you just cannot imagine the different stages that come and go, some more traumatic than others.

Not only do I want to share, so in case this crosses your own life, you can be braced for what’s to come but for those of you who are lucky enough to not have this in their lives, please take a breath many times a day and appreciate the simplest things–like you can use silverware to eat, and plates, that you can sit at a table and have a conversation that revolves around more than snippets from TV shows and that you can smile and laugh with each other, with your animals, even with yourself.  I really miss talking about geology, world events and working on finding the remedies and cures for different canine diseases and life in general.

Plastic spoons are the only utensils that we use now since a year after after Someone was diagnosed with LBD–just before Christmas, December, 2015–we were in shock for a month after that!

Imagine trying to eat spaghetti–even broken up into small pieces before boiling it, is a comedy to behold!  I even have to use a spoon to cut birthday cake!

Soon, I will need to order red plastic spoons and plates since as these patients’ vision decreases, they can only really see their food against red–and now, they have discovered against yellow, too.  (Helping them continue to be as independent as possible is the continuing goal.) There are red dishes, spoons, cups and some adult size toddler forks (smaller, wider tines) but with the hand tremors that come and go, forks are not as safe as spoons.  After the “red everything” stage, there are vibrating spoons that counteract the tremors so LBD people or even those with Parkinson’s can use to continue to try to feed themselves.  Just a single vibrating spoon is almost $200!  That phase is still a while away I hope-so is the wheelchair and the need for a home with no thresholds, wider doorways, non-slip floors and many more accommodations.

I keep a small paring knife hidden in a plastic bag, tucked inside a drawer, just in case I need to cut up some fruit or vegetables.   I had to put all of the regular silverware away at least two years ago.  I just emptied out the drawers and put it away.  The utensils were being used for digging in the yard, getting lost down the disposal (something that is now also locked down–and unfortunately rusting into a mass), being put in the microwave with meals and more.  I do have a rubber mixing spoon and ladle out that I use for the dogs’ food.

The oven and cooktop are locked and are only used when I have the baby gates to the kitchen closed to keep Someone out and it is safe to use them. I am on high alert during these times–it is not relaxing at all to cook. The switches are taped down on the appliances if I can’t remove the knobs or lock, corners on counters and furniture are wrapped in bubble wrap and packing tape in case of a fall or Someone slips. The doctor is ordering a lock for the refrigerator and freezer.  Middle of the night food feasts happen more often than not, contributing to Someone’s growing waistline. (This is important to stop this because I have to be able to help Someone if he slips or falls or even needs a shower, etc. but at a certain weight, I will be unable. Even now, I would need a mechanical hoist if he could no longer walk.)

We use plastic or paper plates.  Too many of dishes were broken in the first few years and it just became a hazard.  I have lovely things to set a table with, but now, little by little I am donating most everything to a women’s shelter donation store or asking if anyone needs anything. (If you are in need or setting up a house, please contact me.) We drink out of plastic cups and the dogs all have metal dishes–no more ceramic or hard plastic–and water bottles so if something drops, there is no mess or hazard.

It takes at least three hours to get Someone up and showered and dressed to even go to a doctor appointment. Thankfully, he is still able to stand and take care of himself but I have to supervise everything–from taking an hour to just get him to get up out of bed to getting him to eat to changing into clean clothes. (Hygiene is constant issue –they see wearing clean clothes as “wasting” the clothes they wore previously–unless they are covered in mud or dog food or spaghetti sauce for instance.)  For some reason, a lot of dementia people have an aversion to baths and showers (maybe it is a water and/or noise phobia?). I have to wait until Someone is sleeping to gather up all of his clothes and towels and wash and dry them and put them back exactly where they were and how they were.  If Someone is awake and I try to do his wash, he will wrestle them away from me and put them all back where they were.

Often times, I have to reschedule appointments two, three or more times in a row before we can actually get somewhere.  Some doctors understand, some do not and then I have to find another one who will.  I think until you have lived with this disease, you cannot comprehend how devastating it is to “normal” life expectations. Maybe then they would be more tolerant.  Having patience is a grace that I continually pray for–sometimes second by second.

Lewy Body Dementia is a progressive, neurologic disease–and it is terminal, usually in about seven years give or take.  The hardest part to deal with, besides utter and complete exhaustion from having to be a babysitter/superviser 24/7 because they sundown or have episodes that can go for twenty four hours of straight activity, is that at any time,  they can “flip” back to normal or back to “active dementia.”  One minute you can be supervising someone who goes to get the mail at 3 AM in his BVD’s (everything has an alarm and bells on it now to thwart these episodes) to the man you knew before he became ill–just physically declining, suddenly “showing up.”

At that exact moment, when he flips back to consciousness, he is himself and cannot understand why everything is locked up, taped up, why I am hovering, exhausted, and repeating things over and over again since in the dementia state, you have to repeat the exact same instructions day after day and sometimes hour after hour. There is a sharply declining short-term memory.  I have even tried making signs like, “Turn off the TV,” or a schedule of eating and activities but they are simply ignored and in his “normal” state, he is offended by it all.  Hearing issues/mistakes happen often and while some are hilarious, others offend Someone when he misunderstands what was said and it is really uncomfortable.  Hearing and eyesight decline–almost every single light in the entire house is on all night long and TV’s and/or the stereo are on as loud as I can stand it.

Television is the be all and end all. It captures the LBD mind and he will stand in front of it like in a zombified state for hours if I don’t intervene. TV is on 24/7 on two sets.  On one TV, he sets the channels up for the dogs–we have one, Rocky Rocks, who actually can watch the shows with Someone and so Animal Planet and Vet shows, etc. are on all the time.  (I have to take a movie of Rocky watching TV.  It is too funny! He loves porcepines and horses–and of course, dogs! My beloved Poppy was the only other dog I have known who could watch TV like this.)

On the other TV, which is in the bedroom, Someone will try to watch all kinds of very noisy war movies or history shows but since I sleep on a futon couch perpendicular to my “Sigh,” “old” bed,  I intervene and put on some things that are more peaceful. My mind has got to rest a bit!  I get a little grump or two directed at me like, “Why don’t you just go to sleep…” which means, “Go to sleep so I can change the channel back and turn the lights on,” but my eyes, ears and mind just get too tired to have that noise drilling into my mind all the time. I finally decided to take an hour a day and go sit in the guest room and do my prayers and rest when Someone finally goes to sleep. I just enjoy the quiet and stillness. Once he falls asleep, I go into the bedroom and turn just the screen off on the TV. He will wake up if the sound is turned off–and I need a break–so I leave it on low!

They hoard things–everyone has different things but let me tell you that this is mind-warping to deal with.  One night, I saw a row of ants going across the wall into the office.  “What in the world…” I thought at 3 AM.  I found a cache of candy stuffed behind the door.  I began to look for more.  After finding two garbage bags of candy–all clearance candy he picked up and hid from whenever we went grocery shopping and there was nothing special imparticular–from lollypops to tootsie rolls to Sweethearts–anything for less than a dollar.  I let him pick a few things out and had to throw it all out. It has been accummulated from the clearance tables for years apparently. He only has $20 in his wallet for emergencies so he had to get it cheap and there is no discrimination of what it is as long as it is on clearnace.)

Between his weight issues and the disease destroying his teeth and gums and skin (he was a tooth health fanatic so this just breaks my heart for him), I could not have these outdated, children’s sweets squirreled away all over the house.  (Any sweets angels send, like special treats, hams, breads, cheeses and cakes, I keep in the refrigerator and share a little at a time. He can definitely have the fruitcakes and goodies that you send–he loves fruitcakes especially!)  I now have to supervise Someone in the store like a hawk which makes it very difficult to concentrate–or to relax at all. Walmart is the number one go-to requested stop–so we stay away from it! Candy is just one of the things that Someone likes to hoard.  Cardboard is another huge issue. (One day, the pictures I’ve taken will speak a million words.)

They also develop habits that are harmless but test your last raw nerve.  For instance, if I serve ice cream for a snack, he eats it and then scrapes the bowl at least 300 times if not more to make sure nothing is “wasted.”  When I stop and pick up salads, I get “ordered” to leave the kitchen because he now has taken over my precious spice collection and spends an hour creating his special salads.  I am glad that he is doing something with such enthusiasm especially more than sleeping or watching TV so I emotionally let go of my spices (I used to love to cook–and Someone loved whatever I made even when I goofed!) but it hurts a little to see the spices that I collected from all over and used to cook great meals with, no longer organized nor usuable for more than Someone’s salads.

Since everything is on lock down, only the basics happen now in the kitchen–a beautiful chef’s kitchen is now unrecognizable no matter how many times I re-organize it.  I look at the pictures of what it was and just want to cry, hence the need for gift cards to bring in meals for Someone and for the dogs.  There are days and nights that I can do no more than hand out burgers to all, take a shower and collapse because my body just hurts so much.  (I still have to stay awake though until Someone gets tired enough to lay down–then I wonder what quality of sleep I am really getting one hour or half an hour at a time.)

Someone loves getting cards in the mail.  It is the highlight of his week.  The few people, the very few, who send them, will be blessed for their compassion, I am sure. His family and friends ditched him when he got sick and so his world is me, the dogs and his mail, his doctors, the clerks at the grocery stores and occassionally, the handy man who his wife thankfully sends over to help me around the yard/house. To see the happiness that comes from opening a card–he cannot do email anymore–and now he asks me to read the cards to him–is a special moment.  I thank God for those who do this and who continue even though he can’t write back. It has been a few years and a few more to come.

When the weekly mail comes and there are no cards some weeks as time goes on especially, I notice his disappointment and am sad for him.  To see a man, who was so selfless and gave everything he made to help people and animals and to perfect the cure for canine distemper, be abandoned by almost everyone, is heartbreaking. Even his own mother wrote to him a few months ago telling him to just get his act together, come take care of her like most sons would do, and go back to work!  (He would give anything to go back to his beloved geology!) Even she, knowing the diagnosis and prognosis doesn’t get that just because he is walking (albeit slower and stiffer) and talking (albeit more confused), that he is dying slowly and painfully.  This is why it is called “the slow goodbye.”

There is levity at times when I have had some sleep and he is “himself,” we do belly-laugh at the things that have happened or that he has said or that he mistakenly hears instead of what was said. Someone says he is glad that I can “entertain” myself in this situation. The moments can last for an hour or a few hours but I always know that Lewy Body Dementia is going to return–the beast that I had no knowledge of before this and the beast that I am determined won’t get the best of us. I thank God that I believed in Him and in Jesus so strongly–in fact, my entire life–before this happened.  I talk to the Divine, pray a lot and ask for strength, for mercy, for stamina even as I run through my day and the long nights.  I don’t know how someone who didn’t have an established faith would do in this situation.

The dogs are a blessing even though some people, including his mother, have said to get rid of them or even euthanize them if I can’t find them homes. They are not adoptable or they would have been adopted a long time ago.  We took them in when no one else would. Yes, it is super difficult to juggle all of this but with some help, which is dwindling at the most needed time, it was easier.

The dogs play with Someone and give him a reason to get out of bed or away from the TV and they just adore him.  He talks to them with such love and adoration and they respond in kind. They play catch and tug and a couple of them sleep with him or nap with him. It is a beautiful thing to watch. He is a dog whisperer really. If we didn’t have the “Herd” to care for, I think the situation would be so overwhelming for me–there would be no distractions to a situation that is devastating.  At least this way, there is love, entertainment and play time for all of them and Someone–just the work of keeping it going all falls on my shoulders alone now–and I can’t go out to work to support the crushing expenses or even to go to the doctor by myself.

Yes, there are locked memory facilities that admit Lewy Body patients.  They cost about $12,000 a month–so it is not possible to do at this time plus I don’t want Someone to be locked up when he is still flipping into conscious awareness.  It would just destroy his spirit.  So as long as I can manage, I will continue what I am doing–learning to laugh at the bowl-scraping and the hoards and piles of things and the, and the, and the…Some day, I will be able to live a “normal” life again and in the meantime, I just have to flow with what is going on, making sure Someone is safe and that everyone is taken care of.  I pray for the strength to keep going and for the patience to do so as well–sometimes minute by minute.

Today, when you would rather stay home from work, be joyful that you can go to work.  When you are tired and have to cook dinner, be thankful that you have a kitchen to use and the ability to make whatever you want, when you want.  When you want to go to a movie, to a doctor, to have dinner with friends, be grateful that you can get out to do these things and also that all you have to do is grab your keys and wallet/purse and get in the car–without planning for hours on how to just get to the store for some milk!

…and when your dog/cat/horse needs to eat, share your table scraps–as long as they are foods they can eat.  No dog should “pass on” without having tasted pizza or ice cream or peas or lettace with ranch dressing or mashed potatoes with melted butter! Cats have their own special treats as do horses and hamsters and turtles!  Never walk past or over an animal without stopping to massage their shoulders or pet their heads or buy them a new toy or tell them that you love them. The same stands for the people in your life.  Never take anything or anyone for granted.

In other words, be kind, compassionate, sharing of yourself, caring and loving whenever you can, as often as you can to those you know and even to those who just cross your life’s path.  Live life with a grateful heart no matter what life brings your way.  In the end, it is all really just about love.

God bless you always in all ways.

Jane

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Yes, ours dogs–our babies really– (Mebs and Poppy) even went to visit the Grand Canyon with us!  Just after this photo, the Rescue Ranch opened and we took in our first dog–a little Cocker Spaniel, Kasey, in February, 2007.  

 

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Kasey was the dog of a soldier who was deployed to Iraq.  He had been left with the soldier’s mother in North Carolina but we found him in the Los Angeles area while we were on vacation!  We contacted the phone number on his tag and his family relinquished him to us.  God called Kasey’s name in April, 2016 and then Poppy was called just six weeks later. We adored this gentle little dog and always will.

 

Remember, please click on the link below in your email of this post to see the featured pics as well as the edited posts.  I always edit after I publish–it is easier to correct posts in that format.

 

IF you want to help the Rescue Ranch–or write to Someone–the mailing address is:

Rescue Ranch

4057 Riley Fuzzel Road

Suite 500-130

Spring, TX 77386

 

Anything e-  credits, cards, (amazon credits are needs as are generic gift cards, gift cards to McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s and HEB (grocery stores) should go to: a.rescue.volunteer@gmail.com

 

Thank you for caring.  Especially for caring.

 

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PS  Sorry I have not been writing so much these days.  I used to get up every day at 5 AM and just write.  Now, I have to put it on a ‘To Do’ list or I have resorted to writing “Write!”  on the palm of my hand!  One day just blends into the next and there is never time–except for once in awhile–to sit for hours and just write.  Those were the days I thought would never end…cherish yours while you can.

 

 

 

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"Do Good" Opportunities, Autobiography, Just Gotta Laugh, Uncategorized

It’s Always Something

Thankfully, this past week, I had listened to a Deepak Chopra show on PBS about the spiritual laws of the universe.  (I keep the screen off on the TV and listen to the sound while I work.  While I don’t agree with everything he says, I love to consider all different points of view.) I remember him saying that everything happens as it is supposed to and that we are to only live in the present–not carrying anything from the past or expecting anything from the future.  “Food for thought, ” I thought as I mulled it over.  His three or four hour lecture was fresh in my mind.

I have been working all week on a project that was over 400 pages and needed to be Fed Ex’d PDQ.  I kept reading it and reworking it–about eight times–to cut out any repetitive sentences, thoughts, or even paragraphs and got it down to 265 pages.  That would cut down on the copying charges, the weight of the Fed Ex and the time that someone else’s tired eyes is going to have to read it!

With three hours to spare, it was time to leave to copy it and send it out.  Four of six doctors had responded with letters that I needed and records to support what I was writing about. The others I asked couldn’t do them until next week but I really needed to get this in today–or so I thought.  (I told Someone to get dressed and to get in the car at least a few hours in advance.  I took five to actually get him sitting in a seat.)  “Oh,” I said, “I need a credit card.”  The machines are now automated.  You can’t just pay cash at the counter after making copies.  “I’ll get it,” Someone said.  “Great.  Then, let’s go,” I said.

We drove there and I got everything set across the counter, Exhibit by Exhibit, to copy. Someone kept putting the card in the “reader” and it kept coming back.  “I don’t know why it keeps rejecting the card.”  “Let me see it, ” I said.  It was the correct bank card. Then Someone said, “It is a 2018 card.  The new one doesn’t come until the summer so it should work.” Oh.

My Someone has Lewy Body Dementia.  It is not a disease with a steady decline so you kind of know what to expect day to day.  LBD changes hour by hour, day to day.  While physically weaker, some times, Someone is “himself.”  Other times, there are clear signs that something is wrong–some things I will not talk about until he is no longer with us.  I don’t want him to lose his dignity but know that no one could ever prepare for this disease.  It is a mind-bender.

Well, we took the document and the card and headed home.  There is nothing you can say in this situation other than, “Well, I’ll get the right card and we’ll come back tomorrow.”  Now, I know I need to watch for another level of impairment.  I know I would have destroyed the old card and double-checked it before I left to go out.  How he found an old card I will never know.

On the way home, headed for McDonald’s for doggie burgers, Deepak Chopra’s voice was telling me that everything is as it is supposed to be.  Let nothing upset you.  Expect nothing.  Thankfully, I don’t get upset easily so other than a little extra stomach acid rumbling around,  it doesn’t matter.

“Tomorrow is another day,” my mother used to always remind me.  Maybe there is something I forgot to include.  Maybe one of the doctor’s who didn’t get included will send their letter earlier than next week.  Maybe maybe maybe.

It will take a couple of hours now to feed the dogs who won’t eat dog food or can’t eat dog food but not having the burgers, would mean I’d be up all night into the morning. Taking care of special needs dogs is so outside the normal “pet,” or even fostering, experience. They feel like eating–or drinking–one day and then not the next.  I have to have all types of things available for them to eat–sometimes, they only want my cheese sandwich or my cheese pizza–then I have a juice box for dinner!

When you get frustrated, just remember to stay in the moment.  Things are going the way they are supposed to. Let go and just go with what is happening. (I sure pray lots of prayers, most that I learned way back when and read prayer cards for reinforcement and at the same time, too, as I’ve been told, to praise–say, “Thank You,” for all things, even those that haven’t happened yet instead of begging for things yet to come–or not. Even the hard things, the things you wish weren’t, the things you are glad about.  All things.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

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IF you want to help me continue my “mission” caring for special needs animals, and there are lots of them at the Rescue Ranch, please help in any way you can.  Thank you!

You can:

Send Prayers are always welcome and much appreciated.
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E-anything–from email to much needed amazon credits and gift cards–from generic Visa to fast-food restaurants, please use: a.rescue.volunteer@gmail.com (or the mail)
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Mailing address: Rescue Ranch, 4057 Riley Fuzzel Road, Ste. 500-130, Spring, TX  77386
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Rescue Ranch website: http://www.firststop-laststop.com  (I will update the site/blog after I am done with this project. I will let you know when I am posting there again–probably mid-March.)
Grateful.

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“Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver, and this connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging.” ― Deepak Chopra

 

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“If you could really see that tree over there,” Merlin said, “you would be so astounded that you’d fall over.”
“Really? But why?” asked Arthur. “It’s just a tree.”
“No,” Merlin said, “It’s just a tree in your mind. To another mind it is an expression of infinite spirit and beauty. In God’s mind it is a dear child, sweeter than anything you can imagine.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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